Concerned art

7 martie 2009

Articol publicat in: Familie


Concerned art (2)

The
listening mode talked about above is in fact ” the recipient’s listening mode ” ,We come to have a look now “ The listening mode of the persons who offer “ ,The most common one is listening attentively to the child and speaking. On the basis of the child’s age, listening ways to choose should be different to some extent too. A child six years old on grade one in primary school, speaking may speak unceasingly, not stop, as to this kind of situation, how do parents deal with? A simplest way is: Let children close the mouth directly. In the family that has, parents even make the regulation, will never allow children to say endlessly. Such a family will never allow naturally” Children say what they like “ . The second way is no matter what the child talks about, the adult does not show interest in, in this case, the child can only talk to oneself, or has talked only with the air. They follow

Between the adults, it is interdynamic not to have at all, has not exchanged. The third way is to pretend to be listened attentively to, in fact is still busy with one’s own work, it think one’s own worry,last every one “eh, ” Or ” excellent ” ,So as to deal with the child. The fourth way to listen attentively to selectively, child talk about some seem important thing, parents will pick up one’s ears, centralized attention, attempt to obtain the most information with the efforts at least. Certainly, most parents may not be crossed and specially trained, perhaps not have good choice ability, so, will usually omit a lot of important information. The last way, is certainly every sentence listening attentively to the child conscientiously, understand their meaning as much as possible.

Among the above-mentioned five listening way, time and energy that parents pay, we can say one large than first kind. Perhaps you thought, what I recommended was the last way, because it can reflect parents’ love and concern more to children, however, you have thought by mistake. First of all, the child six years old is very talkative, if listen to their every sentence, parents have no time to do a good job of other things. Secondly, listen attentively to hard and analyze all the child’s words conscientiously, this will make parents feel all pooped out. Last, what the child six years old said, mostly dull and dull, listen attentively to all day, will only let you feel barren and be bored. You had better synthesize the above five ways, weigh and use selectively. Sometimes, it is necessary to let the child shut up big directly, especially when they chatter. They continuous firing stop saying, can let parents divert one’s attention only, unable to finish other thing attentively. When you and others speak, the child may interrupt on purpose, express their hostility, or bring your attention on purpose. In most cases, the child six years old does not have clear intention, often just speak for speaking, might not need listening of you, notice even if they talk to oneself, can experience the fun among them. But sometimes, the child wishes eagerly to be close to parents, need parents to listen to them speaking. In this case, what the child needs is not exchanged by speech, but and the intimate sense among parents, so is enough if pretend to listen attentively to. In fact the child can realize too, parents are listening attentively to selectively sometimes, but this kind “ Listen attentively to the principle “ ,Will make them feel satisfied too. The child six years old, can already accept this kind of listening rule, and in a large number of words of theirs, only a little part needs parents’ concern and response. One of task on it is the most crucial in parents, it hear but with between not hearing,make by appropriate choice, find the best equalization point, meet child’s demands as much as possible.

This kind of ” equalization point ” It is very difficult to master. Though it is originally limited to listen attentively to the time that the child speaks, a lot of parents are unwilling to pay energy to be used for listening attentively to during this limited time. They may think, pretend to listen attentively to or at most listen attentively to selectively, it is real listening. This is just cheated oneself, the purpose is to conceal it lazily. Real listening, how transient it is no matter time, demand sizable efforts. First of all, it needs listeners to stretch every nerve. You impossible the same “ Listen attentively to ” Others speak, go, busy with work other thing. Parents should put other things on one side, really use the time when is listened attentively to for the child, and it must be the child’s time. Unwilling to set other thing free, get you good mood or other thought,etc., mean you are unwilling to really listen attentively to. Secondly, set attention free get six year old speech of child, even more than listen attentively to one speech efforts that need. Six year old speech of child law usually, language gurgle gushes out like spring sometimes, stop and repeat in a large amount sometimes, furthermore make you very difficult to focus attention. In addition, the thing that the child said, it is difficult to make the adult interested lastingly; But outstanding speech family can make the audience concentrate one’s attention, listen to their speech conscientiously. In other words, listen attentively to the child six years old and speak, it is usually quite uninteresting, it is very difficult to focus attention for a long time, if you can accomplish, the action of the real love. In fact, without love, parents are difficult
to produce the motive force listened attentively to.



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